Final Grades

Here are the final grades for many of the things that factored into my life while in Las Vegas (in alphabetical order) :

Batman Begins: A
I keep challenging people to name a better straightforward action movie, and thus far no one has given a suitable answer.

Beauty and the Geek: B
One of the better reality TV concepts: stick a bunch of attractive but fairly dumb women into a house with an equal number of male nerds. At first it was pure genius. But the vote-off concept really hurt the show because as people left, the cliquishness disappeared and the chaos diminished.

Bobby Abreu in the Home Run Derby: A
34 swings, 24 homers, and 10 non-homers? That’s possible?

Caliber of the Players at the Palms Final Table I Made: A-
I had no idea at the time, but this final table featured: a) Nick “The Douche” Gibson who made a very deep run at the championship this year before busting out at the ESPN feature table; b) Barbara Enright who also made the money and also busted out at the ESPN feature table (and is the only woman to have ever made the final table at the main event); c) Tommy Vu who has an average stack with 27 players left in the main event as I write this; and d) future legend Thomas “Goodnight Moon” Fuller.

Cinderella Man: B+
I can’t really think of anything to say other than it was a good movie.

Coldplay: B
They made a horrible choice for the first single. But when “Fix You” and “Swallowed in the Sea” are released as singles this will near “Rush of Blood to the Head” levels of success.

Crash: A+
I’ve never seen scenes so intense. Basically the movie Magnolia wanted to be, only successful and half as long.

Gold Coast: A-
The way to do Vegas is to stay in a low-budget, “old man” place like this or San Remo. There is a huge difference in price for the rooms, food, and amenities, while you give up little in terms of quality. The Strip is a ten minute shuttle away, with the Palms and Rio each a five minute walk. The only problem I encountered here was deciding how much to tip on a $1.80 Graveyard Special. $2.00 is a 10% tip but you just can’t tip someone twenty cents, so I guess you have to go with $3.00 and a 70% tip.

Harrah’s: C+
Really everything was fine here, except my room adjacent to the outdoor concert which seemingly went on 24/7.

Hubie Brown: A-
Quite possibly the best basketball color commentary I’ve ever heard. I rewatched Game 5 of the Finals and Brown was almost clairvoyant. Right before Horry’s big shot Brown said that the only thing Detroit should worry about was making sure not to leave a shooter like Horry or Barry open for three. Then when the Pistons got the ball he noted that they should focus on not rushing the shot. Sure enough Hamilton panics and chucks up a horrible shot with two seconds left on the clock. Considering the prominent involvement of Al Michaels and Mike Tirico, Brown’s commentary was even more crucial.

Kingdom of Heaven: C+
This movie had just one character who got more than ten minutes of screen time (Orlando Bloom, horrendous as usual). The love story which was supposed to be a major aspect had no foundation whatsoever. Many of the major plot developments were completely implausible. The battle scenes were stolen directly from better movies of the last ten years. The protagonist – who, again, was the only character who lasted more than a couple scenes – had no personality. The first half of the movie consisted of supporting characters bailing Bloom out and then giving him a memorable honor-related quote he could remember. The second half consisted of Bloom doing nothing yet people inexplicably treating him as a hero as he repeated the quotes from earlier. Then it ended. Despite all this, or maybe even because of it, it was strangely entertaining.

Lindsay Lohan: D-
The parallels to my bankroll are striking: a slow rise to prominence; a sudden breakthrough to greatness; a brief period of incredible success accompanied by an appearance of invincibility; and a sudden, shocking downfall caused primarily by weight loss.

Longest Yard: B
The first scene was atrocious (drunk driving sure is hilarious). I wound up really enjoying the middle, but they made a colossal mistake near the end. I won’t say what it was but you just can’t do that in a comedy.

Mr. and Mrs. Smith: C
Great premise, great actors, great director, terrible script, mediocre movie.

My Play: C
I think I was really unlucky the first couple weeks. The second couple weeks I played all the time and I played the best poker of my life. If I had caught a break or two I think I could have made a final table. I can’t remember misplaying many hands at all during this time and I was constantly in the thick of it right before the money both at the WSOP and the Palms. The last couple weeks I didn’t play as much and I got a little bit sloppy. I played okay in the Big One but on all the big hands the cards just played themselves.

My Pre-WSOP Goals:
“Make a final table”: C-
Obviously I wasn’t referring to the Palms. I cashed zero times in twelve events at the WSOP.
“Conduct myself as a professional”: B+
I really took the beats well for a while. I never got upset while sitting at the table no matter how ugly the beat but just calmly forked over the chips. In the downtime I analyzed my play looking for mistakes. Only at the end after some more tough breaks online did I start to lose my cool.
“End the Series as a better player than I am today”: B
This is hard to judge because I learned so much, especially about tournament strategy and tells, but I lost a lot of confidence which might be the most important thing in poker.
“Have the best time of my life”: F
Maybe next year.

NBA Finals: C
It did go seven but five and six were the only decent games and there were few interesting storylines. Seven was the worst-played game I saw all year.

Oasis: B+
They still haven’t disappointed me. Arguably their worst album which means it’s the best thing I’ve heard since the last one.

Palms: A-
I’ve never been in a room at the Palms so I don’t know what the whole experience would be like but overall the casino is one of the best in Vegas, with good low stakes table games, well-run tournaments and cash games in the poker room, a great club in Ghostbar, a movie theatre, and a generally chill vibe all the time.

Poppy Montgomery and Angie Harmon: A
I never watch those criminology shows but I’m thinking of starting.

Rio: D+
Chaos 24/7. The “woodpecker on acid” ordeal. Uncooperative staff. Weak comps for the WSOP. A solid but constantly crowded buffet. Maids barging in despite a privacy sign. A poor television selection…

Stereophonics: C+
If their goal was to get played at the Gap and stadiums before baseball games, then mission accomplished I guess.

The Bag: A-
You played a perfect tournament and gave me the biggest thrill of the whole Series. The minus is because you never came over the top of Juanda. Actually it’s because you don’t like High Fidelity.

TheGraveWolf: D-
Months of hype. Talk of spending a month or more in Vegas. Assurances of constant rail support. In the end your entire WSOP participation consisted of a couple short blog comments. They had a 1k Stud Hi/Lo with $100 satellites, lots of cheap NLHE sats, and the low limit hold em games all around town were very weak. Your loss.

Weezer: C-
I’ve finally lost faith.

White Stripes: C
Not bad, but the Best Band in the World needs to do better to hold onto that title for long.

_________________

Thanks to everyone who read the blog and especially those who posted an entry. Special thanks to the Bag aka Zack Sanders for arranging both the website and the blog.

I loved writing it and hope some of you enjoyed reading it. I could pull a Daniel Negreanu and write about how I got a haircut and played video games, but I don't think anyone wants to read about that. So that should be it for the blog, though it may return someday.